Shit I want: Overpriced Designer Shit Edition

 

Everything From Tina Kavilas s/s 2010

Oh my god the colour the prints the cuts, it's a really great collection with a amazing direction, Tina Kavilas is one of my favourite Australian designers! and keeps on getting better and better

Rick Owens Oversized T-shirt

This would fit me, even in a small, and would go with 90% of my wardrobe but the money, oh how I wish I had the money for this baby.

 

Proenza Schouler: Yellow Leather Satchel

I've been looking for a yellow leather bag for eons and I really love this one I can't frickin well afford it or anything else from Proenza Schouler oh well there's this one from etsy that will fill the void for my yellow leather fantasy

 

Ann Demeulemeester Leather Vest 

This wouldn't even fit my pinky but I need something in my wardroble that says "Daddy is into leather" you know because all the hip kids nowadays refer to themselves as 'Daddy'

Vintage Moschino Hanbag with hardware

She's in Australia, so I'm supporting Australian independent business women, and by sheer coincidence will have a handbag that shits on yours and your mothers (don't know what Moschino handbag shit looks like but I'd say it'd be able to be appreciated on many levels)

Headscarf: Tied 'Rhoda' Style : Thrifted

Necklace: Diva

Sweater: Ments Kmart black acrylic jumper with neckband removed and worn backwards

Jeans: 1626 thrifted.

The Boy really does not like these jeans and so everytime I put these babies on he visibly winces and questions my intentions of leaving the house. He'll um and ahh and question my choice of arse coverings. Usually in order to determine if an outfit is suitable I'll ask the question "am I rootable?" (it's an Australian thing Root = Sex... well the penetration bit, so Rootable means fuckable) any 99.9 percent of the time it's a yes, but these jeans... these jeans have magic contraceptive abilities that cause all desire in my boyfriend to shirivel up and die... oh well it means more time for me to eat chocoalte and buy stuff online.

I mean come on they aren't that bad are they? a little baggy by thats the style! I'm a hipster into the fashion and the young people stuff.

Where did my arse go?

Oh well whatever! I still like the jeans like this with a long jumper they are comfy so very comfy.

Yeah the Sweater thingy, it's literally a mens V neck jumper that I cut the neck out of hemmed the bastard and wear it backwards, I got he jumper off the sale rack at k-mart for about $7 and the con is it pills like buggery but any cold day it's my go to item and I do look cute in a boatneck

Dress: Jane BonBon via Etsy 

Shirt: Thrifted

Belt: Came with a dress

Thongs: Dunno?

This is how I usually wear this dress to work, because y'know a second hand button up shirt falling apart at the seams makes this shit corporate yo'

or my work has a casual rule on not wearing sleeveless tops.

Everyone should buy something custom made from Jane BonBon it's masterfully constructed and wonderful to wear, it's been my go to dress for the last few weeks, I just chuck it on to laze around the house and yeah I love it, and I'm so buying this baby when I get the cash

Shit I want: from old T.V shows that will never be made again

1) A Gingham biker jacket ala Mary Tyler Moore in the Mary Tyler Moore Show

Ooh and it's matching skirt

Stay turned for Moore Mary Tyler (see what I did there) Screen grabs as a) it's the best sitcom ever made  b) it's some of the best fashion ever seen on T.V and c) it makes me seem like I've written something when in fact I have nothing to say.

Ooh she be wearing spectator heels too, MTM (that's Mary Tyler Moore peeps) gots some stylez

It didn't fit.

Green thing: Kirrily Johnston loves Maxshop

Black singlet: kmart

Skirt: My Size

Belt: came with a dress

The samurai dress came and of course it didn't fit ok one specific tube secotion of the dress but alas a pair of scissors and 30 seconds and I now own a fancy green silk cape, it needs a bit of a pressing but it was lovely breezy and light and the colour in person is to die for (no photos can catch this colour), and there are many silky nooks and crannies to fiddle around with when you are bored. I love it as a cape (and the boy seems to like it) and that's all that matters.

Kirrily Johnston is probably rolling over in her grave or her Egyptian cotton sheets (or whatever fashion designers roll in nowadays) seeing this fat chick bastardise her lovley blousy unstructured creations but whatever! whatever! I do what I want

One of my other favourite things in this outfit today is the ring I made it myself last week by sewing some turquoise chip beads sewn onto a ring of underwear elastic, I think I'll churn out a few more of these they are comfy and surprisingly work with a variety of outfits and despite being massive the elastic makes it super comfy

Fat? Australian? got $34.30? then get this dress,

A couple of entries ago I mentioned briefly this dress and how much I love it, it's a bit warm now here In Sydney to wear it but thinking about it I had to give it a whirl today, and so I did and hot damn I remember why I love this dress, it's comfy not very scratchy at all (90% viscose 10% merino) and was a steal when I got it for I think $60 in late August, but it got hot and I retired her for the winter.

but it was slightly cold this morning so i thought fuck it, I'll be in air conditioning for most of it, i'll only swaet like a pig on the way home. now here's the dress the way Kirrily Johnston intended

Nice huh?

And heres me

.
so what do you think, the pervy old men on the bus like it so it must be flattering right?

It's a great dress and I wish I had cash as maxshop are doing free shipping this week and at $34.30 this dress is a right steal

the sleeves are the best part you can button them up and it's sleeveless ar unbotton and they are batwing like, without any obvious hardware,  please get colder summer, I can envision many a night out in this baby

It's the Newspaper Mama

If you grew up in Australia in the 80's you'd know all about Peter Coombe, he was 'The Shit' to four to seven year old me, every day when we'd get home from school smattered between the ABC late afternoon programming would lie a Peter Coombe song and you'd jump and sing along, it's actually kind of odd as I now as an Adult appreciate how mature musically and lyrically he was as an entertainer (reminds me muchly of Paul Simon) and fingers crossed next time he hits Sydney I'm going to go see him live.

Anyway what's that go to do with my outfit, nothing really except for "What's black? and What's White? and Red all over" and today that was me

Dress: Target 2006ish

Cardigan: Basque via Myer 2006ish too

Shoes: Evans

Belt: came with a dress

Scowl: caused by society in general and American t.v.

I wore this to work today, as it was officially the first day in my and improved job so I thought I would be breezy and approachable but responsible and authoratative without sacrificing my femininity, which the outfit might of done if my tits didn't fall out of this dress everytime I sat down.

It's actually my only floral print dress, I'm not usually a fan, (unless it's Pucci, natch) and honestly not a fan or rose prints on dresses either, but I like this dress the print isprobably the most flowery I'd get unless it was hideously kitsch (which I am looking for right now)

What I got for christmas

KAREN FRICKIN' WALKER sunglasses! I know I know I know, ever since I hear she was releasing sunglasses I had been excited as Karen Walker is quite easily one of my favourite Anipodean designers and her ad ampaigns are to die for, I love this years 'Vampire' shoots and last years 'Tears' shoots and Secret Identity shoots were so so very beyootiful, My darling friend Boo has connections and kindly bestowed me a pair of Super Dupers

I'm hoping for considerably less than retail price, please God make her expect very little in return this Christmas.

I'm ever so in love thankyou Boo

As Tim Gunn would say : Make it work!

well I was a browsing and perusing the interwebs looking for a better life for myself (through clothing) and stumbled acrosss this little number on sale

Samurai Dress: A/W 2009 Kirrily Johnston for Maxshop

It's technically not my size, but it's made from a mile of silk and for $20 if it doesn't fit my torso i'll have a lovely chartreuse silk turban to wear on weekends, or I could cut in some sporty vents to "Make it Work"

or I could sell it on ebay, or sew it all up and turn it into a lovely silk beanbag

I got this number a few months ago

Empire Dress: A/W 2009 Maxshop

an it fits like a dream, it's meant to be incredibly oversized on a size 12 girl so it fits normally on me and is so comfortable to wear. I might take some photos of me in ti later on, it's a very warm dress not at all suitable for summer

Please clothing god, make it fit, or "make it work"

Shit I want : Accessory edition; sparkly jewellery etc.

 

An OTT bejeweled bib with everything on it!

I kind of have been lusting over bib necklaces this week, I have seen the ones on local jewelery stores and on etsy and they are a bit to doilyish, or flowery, or bedazzled, I want something with a bit of everything, a true clusterfuck of a necklace, I'm thinking I might DIY it as I have a whole bunch of leather left over from a current DIY project.

 

I don't mind this one actually I quite like it, the shape and the flowers and the colour would make this great with many items 

 

A bright green turquiose necklace

I have been lusting after this necklace for so long, it's got everything I have ever wanted in jewelry, colour class, uniqueness actually when I have daydreams about my wedding day it involves me wearing this necklace (is that weird) but alas I is poor and I will have to make do a plastic version for now, but one day, she will be mine.

Big Arsed chunk of amythest crystal on a double knuckle ring

I love reading the The Glamourai blog, Kelly has such unique style, and excutes so very well, I'm not very much into faceted gemstone and chain jewelery but kelly's stuff makes me want to get into it, and this ring is so frickin cool, it reminds me of high school science class, those naff crystal shops that sell overpriced incense sticks and crystal wands to cleanse your soul/colon, Queen Elizabeth I and Old skool 80's Hip Hop. I want/ need.

Grey something or rather

Black button up shirt: thrifted tag says silhouettes

Grey Tank: $6 Kmart tank

Skirt: My Size

Belt: came with a shirt dress

Shoes: generic black sandals from Target 

Necklace: it's a key on a necklace

It's not a colourful outfit but it is an outfit, it was cool, suitable for work, an d was made of pieces that at least smelled clean. which for me is a good thing.

The singlet top is a dream I got it for $6 at Kmart I also snapped it up in red and black and I will get more colours... sugar daddy dependant (as I need one, know any sugar daddies?) or maybe next pay so if you are in Oz and have $6 they go up to size 20 (or $12 up to sz 26 in a more roomier cut) they have wide straps a high back and in lovely stretchy cotton so friendly for big titted bra wearers, living in Australia, with no money that don't want to look like a slut... a.k.a me

 

Look at me in my bad ass $5 sunglasses! yeah I know you be hatin'

P.S. thank you all for such lovely comments you are all dolls all you commenters and I look forward to spending some time online, forum reading, clothes browsing and sharing the love

Not those bloody blue leggings again!

Dress: Thrush vintage via etsy

Leggings: Thrifted CKM

Cardigan: Best and Less

Belt: Thrifted

Necklace dunno?

Shoes: Beth Ditto for Evans

It's my personal mission to be so bright I do damage to your computer monitor.

Oh shit! I think there is a stain on them of my favourite dress! poobum!

I love this dress so much it's actually dare I say it my most item of clothing I have had in years, even with it's polkadots and garish colour

Double poobum it is a stain, anyone know how to get stains out of 70's polyester?

The Problem with Plus Size Cothing in Australia: Part Two (kmart edition)

I don't mind Kmart in Australia, it's a basic go to store for basics at a reasonable price it's close to my house and near where I get my groceries so I'm in there often, and all being said my local kmart has a decent selection of clothing  but not nearly enough of it while it still churns out aisles of polyester crap!

I have seen these pants sitting there year after year after year in every department store in Australia in the same colours, the same fabric and the same 3/4-7/8 length, and every-time I look at them I die a little inside.

I swear this looks like a bird went and shat all over an already bad floral print shirt (or it may be my photographic skills enhancing the the shittiness of this shirt)

Yes because as a fat girl I like to advertise the fact that I love to eat cookies and until I can save up enough money to get this phrase tattooed onto my forehead theres this t-shirt

And when I'm not advertising the fact that I'm a fat chick into cookies, I like to wear this t-shirt to show potential suitors that I am a sexual predator..I mean cougar in training! I mean there is nothing a woman can do to command more respect from her peers than to refer to herself as a cougar and be humble enough to admit that as a cougar she needs more training, and hug would be nice too.

DearTorrid WTF????

Purple Bright Sublimation Print Poppy Bubble Tube Dress

 

whoever styled this outfit should be shot, repeatedly,

 

White Peace Heart Lace-Hemmed Tank

I mean it looks like someone went through their scrap fabric pile and put all the rejected bits of fabric together, the print doesn't even go all over the fabric! I'm all for colour and clashing prints and textures but please Mr.Torrid designer, get someone to actually look at your designs before you ship them off to china to get some poor 16 year old sweatshop worker to make 50,000 of these

                                     Lip Service White Neon Paint Splatter Print Underbust Vest 

 This top manages to offend not only my eyes but also my sense of smell, don't know why it just does,  tis a shame because she is a gorgeous girl and her tits are spectacular

 

 

 

Guess what I'm doing tomorrow night?

My lovely boyfriend gave me my Christmas Present early this year, The B52's at the Enmore Theatre.



I'm excited becuase The B52's are probably hands down my most favourite band ever I have been obsessed with them since I was a child and in all honesty they have been one of the key groups that have shaped my taste both musically and aesthetically.





I mean look at it!  Mondrian Prints! , beehive hair!, soo much colour! so much fun! I'm so excited as the support acts are Mental as Anything (one of my favourite Australian Bands of all time!)



Oh how I love the lyrics!

Anyways with little notice I have no fricking idea what to wear if I had express courier from the U.S. I'd be wearing this

Tina dress: MonifC
 probably with some opaque black stockings and ankle boots

or this

Red bandage dress: Torrid
with a beehive and a arm full of chunky plastic bracelets

But alas I don't have time or money to make random colourful slutty purchases online and in all reality this is one super sold out show (they are even released lobby tickets) I need to plan my outfit around being comfortable, cool and being able to wear this without detection

Yes I am a trashbag, and whilst I don't really condone sneaking in alcohol to licenced venues, I aint losing my spot up the front for a drink not for this show so I'm going to be super prepared, and not miss a seond of the show.

Look what the eBay fairy brought me

Aren't they pretty? Well they is $30 Fluevogs yes $30 they are soft buttery gorgeous they probably don't fit but they are nice to rub up against.











Ooh so cute











Look at the heel it's heart shaped! Please shoe god make them fit!

Smell my armpit? Ha I made you smell my Armpit!

Cardigan: Moda for Target  Australia
Top: Superhero top: Vigilante Labs via Etsy
Pants: Jersey Gauchos via Ebay
Shoes: Beth Ditto for Evans

I love this top I got it made by  fabulous Etsy seller Vigilante Labs who does great things with truly unique fabrics if you look closely it has snippets of comic books and flashes of action words I love clothes with onomatopoeia on them. if you want something unique truly unique try them they go up to 5XL and no one else will have something like it... well except for me

black dress, leggings, It must be a Wednesda

Yawn! Only really posting this one as I got higher than normal levels of Male interest in this ensemble, but of been my 'ghetto booty'






yeah there's fair whack of arse there

A Clusterfuck of Colour: v 2.0

I found this amazing/ almost hideous tie dyed vest/mumu thing at Vinnies in Marrickville and it instantly reminded me of Porenza Schoulers S/S 2010 collection, lifesaver lollies and my new summer theme 'A Clusterfuck of Colour' which I'm going to jump in head-first with, I'm trying to get at least four separate colours into each of my outfits and and ramp up the pattern mixing, within reason I have to work in a very conservative environment  but i'm pushing the envelope more and more everyday

But this shirt i have already worn it three times this week and I know it's going to come out alot more this summer! It's ben part of seriously some of the best thrifting i have accomplished in the last two weeks. I mean look at it! it looks like someone pissed on a rainbow!

The Dress is by Etsy Seller Jane BonBon and it's a dream, it's made to be braless and made to my exact measurements admittedly it's a little big since I have somehow manage to lose weight in the last month so I have been pinning it at the back or belting it, but i will be back and buying more and more I want to get me the fishtail skirt for winter and another couple of braless dresses, check her out with the currency conversion rates she is a right bargain at the moment

Dress: Jane BonBon via Etsy
Shirt: Thrifted and Untagged
Belt: Don't know
Shoes: Can't remember

Stuff I want/ need/ On Etsy this week

a gorgeous, unique sweater vest

A personalised silver necklace, that doesn't scream look at me I copied carries one from Sex and the City

A simple, pretty custom made summer dress that will take me through to winter

A cool, unique, whimsical print

 A red houndstooth suit that would make me feel like I was in the movie 9 to 5