Outfit: what I wore to Sunday Lunch/ Birthday (ode to my Kenji)

 

Blue Long Sleeved Dress: ASOS CURVE

Outside Colourful Dress: Kenji Dress from TS14+

Leggings:  Evening Leggings from TS14+ 

Shoes: Crocs

Necklace: Gift

Does anyone still read this here blog thingy?

Anyway I was wearing what I normally wear when I go out and then I remembered I used to blog this shit and so I pulled out my camera balanced it precariously on my mantle and posed and then looked and saw the photo was blurry and so I set the timer and posed again, and the photo was still blurry, and then I posed again and that photo was half lit and half pitch black and then again and again five more times until I got this picture of me glowering but adeqautely exposed.

Anyway I am ten kinds of obsessed with this dress and a little with TS14+ at the moment, until early last year I really stayed away from TS14+ like the plague it was full of expensive paint spattered Skant monstrosities that was a uniform for pretty much every woman in this country 35+, there is no doubt it is a high quality brand, it's just that patchwork, patterned, jersey asymetric and mesh tunics kept me very much at arms length, this has all changed it began with a mesh skirt on special (more about her another time) and it continued when last year I saw this dress in their catalogue

(ok I realised I pretty much have styled my outfit exactly like this photo this was not deliberate) 

This was from their 2011 Spring Racing collection and this was called "Kenji" after the Melbourne Cup winner, anyhow this dress was sold out everywhere in Sydney, I couldn't get my size online, I couldn't get two sizes smaller online, I left my name at stores and they would call me back advising they couldn't find one and then I gave up, tired and defeated I bought the plain non printed version of the dress and set up a Google alert and an Ebay alert just on the off chance that someone may be parting with their dress... Nothing.

Then one day about a month and a half ago I was in the Myer in Sydney City, I had just spend all my clothing allowance on new season work clothes and then there it was, several months after they were all gone a full rack of "Kenji's" and there was one in my size and I shed tears of joy (slight exaggeration) but I didn't hesitate in the slightest when I spent my electricity bill money on her (yup I paid full price for her)

So that's the story about this dress, I may not be smiling in this picture or when I had to shuffle money from my savings to pay my bills, or when I will no doubt spill acid/ coffee/ vomit onto the dress ruining it forever, but looking at this dress now makes me ever so happy... and that's what counts

Outfit: meh it's missing my legs and and blurry but it shows my new haircut

 Dress : ASOS Curve

Jacket: Beth Ditto 2009 collection

Sunglasses: Karen Walker: Sir Bookies in Clear 

Scarf: Found it on the street

On my legs are opaque stockings on my feet are in Evans flats (but you'll have to take my word for that)

Yeah not I got me a short back and sides y'know so I'm like Rhianna except without the autotune. so any opinions about my new do? eh like I care I can't re grow it in a hurry.

Oh yeah so also whilst I was buying gluten free hippy crap at the markets I got tapped on the shoulder by the fabulous Kelli Jean Drinkwater handing out pamphlets for this fab event  a couple of days after being told about it by the Awesome Frances I bit my tounge and was trying to be all cool but yeah I was all squealy on the inside she is soo hot in person. so yeah I'll be going... WILL YOU?

  Ooh and because everyone who reads a fashion blog likes to see a picture of the exact same thing but at a slightly different angle here's another photo. I look serious and according to my brother a touch haggard without my make-up on.

 

Ok these were really my brother fooling around taking photos before we went to the markets. but yeah it counts as a considered outfit blog post.

There's this thought amongst various sub cultures and groups in Australia that the size of the hoop of your earrings is directionally proportionate to how much of a slut you are (or how big your clacker is love). This thought really has driven me away from wearing hoop earrings, that and they always got tangled in my hair and my clothes and they just are so obvious but now with my new shorn do, I'm gonna be all about the earrings until I get injured trying to take a t-shirt off with them on.

I must say a most heartfelt thankyou for the responses, comments, repostings and tweets re: my last entry about City Chic and they have taken the time to answer. I'm trying to compose an eloquent and composed response but those are two qualities that I don't possess when it comes to issues such as these but it shall be up in a few days depending on my day to day life. I have actually been taking a blog holiday this last few weeks basically because it's nice to have a break so I havent' read a single thing that a blogger has posted (with the exception of the great story about the CityChic vs Jibri thing here on Axis of Fat ) so I have avoided all this Beth Ditto hullabaloo and whatever else has been happening on the interwebz, I plan on catching up tomorrow... or drinking and watching Invader Zim

Outfit: Another Half Assed outfit post by your favourite half assed fatshion blogger

Glasses: Karen Walker (natch) 

T-shirt: Found it on the floor 

Necklace: Diva necklace and a bit of lincraft gold chain fused together

Bangles: they are giant friendship bracelets made out of cut up t-shirts

Jacket: Beth Ditto for Evans

Jeans: they also came from the floor (it's my favourite place for clothes) 

Brother and I were walking to the bus stop and he went "ooh graffiti! I'm taking a picture!" then I went "ooh shit I still have that blog thing take a photo of me so I can show complete stranger what I wore to the shops" then brother assumed that "Outfit blog" was a code for S&M dating website then I tried to correct him but I'm sure that he still is thinking S&M oh well (does anyone else think about M&Ms when someone talks about S&M?... anyone?) But look it's another tried and true fashion blog background and it makes my boring t-shirt and jeans look Gangsta Yo! (is that how you say it peeps) Actually the above photo is my most favourite photo of me for a very long time. Go Brother.

What the fuck is with that pose? Look I have a claw. I need to try harder at this to look more fashionable

Ooh look at my $6 sandals from Kmart I bought them to do this with but they are mighty comfy so I'll leave these for now and pimp another pair in the near future.

Outfit: look Ma! she's all stripy

Headscarf: Thrifted
Sunglasses: Karen Walker (Gee Devotee)
Sweater dress: My Size
Cardigan: Monroe
Leggings: Evans
Combat Boots: Payless

 I was doing my monthly rummage through Myer City stores sale rack (it pretty much in my opinion the best place in Sydney to find a good quality new fat chick bargain) and saw this marked down 50% from the lowest marked down price (original RRP $120 I paid $40) and I thought lets give it a crack. I looks good (the stripes are angled on the back) and lightweight and will be a great trans-seasonal piece, but it feels cheapish and definitely not worth $120 but a decent striped cardigan has been on my to buy list and I found one and it'll do.

Oh Overseas folk and probably not many Aussies even know about this Monroe brand, it's the plus size diffusion range of the big Australian brand Bardot and is sold directly through the Department store chain Myer and via their website. Targeted at 18-35 the range is mainly stocked with more professional on-trend styles and basic styles. I personally like the brand and hope that they get a bunch more support because I think the Australian youth plus size market really needs more fashionable, professional, classic, work/play clothing that isn't as farted out thoughtless  (I don't want to use that term but it's the only ones that come to mind)  as City Chic or Dream Divas offerings.

Outfit: drawn together (aka what I wore to work and hastily sketched because I keep on forgetting to take photos of me in my outfits)

Elephant Scrotum Dress- ASOS curve.

Oversized Black cardigan: Kirrily Johnston LOVES Maxshop.

Red belt: got it out of a kinder surprise

Sheer stockings: left over from my Bank robbery days.

Combat boots: Payless

Hiking socks: the Hiking sock store.

I haven't been on the Internet much as blogging is something that takes valuable time that could be better utilized by myself downloading the entire series of Maude and being sick (it's winter here in the mystical land of OZ so everyone is a sniffle) and also as a "corporate whore" my John (that's corporate whorese for employer) requires me to attend to my job around five days a week.

Anyways I do have a lot of stuff to catch up on re the blog and lots of fabulous and hideous things to show you.

Now onto the outfit, I wore this yesterday to work and after yesterdays outing I formally demoted Scrotum dress down to nightie as it is formally a piece of shit. This is the only item of clothing i have bought that has doubled in size with every wear and is wider than it is long, the neck grew so wide that I had to pin it to my bra to wear. Even last night as I wore it as nightie it didn't stay on.

The cardigan however is uhmayzing! it's the Maxshop loves Kirrily Johnston empire cardigan dress that I hacked into just the overcoat, I bought it in a medium to large and it is MASSIVE, Tripod calls it my wizard cape as it hits the ground and It gives me a very Gandalfy/ Professor Snape feel to my ensembles this winter.

Oh and the combat boots, got these in a 50% off sale they aren't leather which usually a non negotiable criteria for my shoe choice but I have worn the fuckers at least three times a week since I bought them and I plan on buying more in leather I think next time.

That's all folks! there should be more self indulgent wank I mean more blog posts... very very soon.

Outfit: what I wore when I was doing something this weekend, my memory is hazy

Kaftan: Got it at a vintage fair it's belted to make it look short and blousy

Leggings: ASOS Curve

Heels: Edward Meller

Necklace: Diva

Glasses: Zenni Optical

Rawr! I'm all clad in kitschy cheap leopard print and I like it.

Got this floor length leopard Kaftan/ Mu-mu at a Vintage fair a month and a bit ago along with the best vintage bag ever and I had intended on hemming it and making the kaftan a tunic length mini dress/ top but now I really like it all super crazy blousy and the fringe as hideous as it is is growing on me.

Oh and the shoes are my beloved 100% leather kitten heels from Edward Meller they are super comfy I got them for an absolute song (under $100 AUD) and they are a size 42 and a roomy 42 at that.

P.S. thanks for the lovely comments about my legs, I cannot stand my legs in particular my calves (they are actually wider than my lover thigh) and it was lovely to hear and made me more confident of rocking my calves out some more

Outfit: What I wore when taking photos of our spare room to put up onto the internet in order to get a flatmate.

Trench: lily0808168 via Ebay heres a live auction for it

Top: Evans

Shorts: Jeans I cut up

Shoes: Invisble Wedges from Gullible City

Carpet: came with the house

This photo is completely random, I was taking photos of the corner (we are looking for a new housemate) and noticed something speck like while attending the the speck the camera takes five photos in quick succession (I think she is broken); and  even though Im not prepared, I hear the warning beeps and from dozens of Outfit self protraits I subconciously pose. 4 of the shots where khaki blur this however was freakishly useable. and It means that I don't have take time off my busy Saturday (watching movies and scratching myself) creating content for this here page. Yay half arse blog entry.

I did chuck on a pair of stockings and boots and wear this up to the shops to buy a clothes drying rack and that was another highlight of my day.

I do love the trench I wear it everywhere, and the short adjustable sleeves make it perfect for th Aussie winter, I think I'm going to buy another one as I am literally wearing it out and the khaki colour (the buttons eep on falling off) is actually a really versatile flattering neutral. also it has this fab tulip hem that is so adorable, I ordered a 5X even though I'm squarely in their 3X sizing (heard reviews off their off sizing and have been super happy with the fit, and the price just shits on every other Trench out there.

Outfit: Generic work outfit (now with added colour)

Dress: ASOS Curve

Cardigan: Basque Woman

Opaques:  it's a full leg tattoo I got done to look like opaques

Shoes: Thrifted mens suede laceups I have ruined by splashing about in puddles

Necklace: Diva

Head Scarf: Thrifted

• ASOS had free shipping to Austalia a couple of weeks ago
• after seeing this dress on Natalie of Definatalie.com I decided I must have it or some variant of said dress
• it took longer than their pomised 10 business days to deliver fo which they suck but the dress is good and my boobs like nice so I will fogive them
• however it is too short and creases like a (insert your own metaphor for a heavily creased item or person)
• if you look closely you can see my polka dotted bra

Oh and if you are one of the bazillion people who came here fom Definatalie's neck o' the woods  hello, I hope I havent offended with my weekly references to my "Coporate Box" "Minge" or "Lady Garden" and thankyou Natalie for incluing me amongst some amazing and inspiring gals, it's such an honour.

Outfit: a.k.a the elephant scrotums second chance round

Dress: Asos Curve

Longline Sweater Vest: The Clothing Company

Opaques: stole them from the neighbours clothes line

Boots: Evans

Belt: found on the floor

Headscarf: thrifted

I tried again, and I'm still meh bout the outfit but i covers my tits and minge adquately so as not to offend to townsfolk. It will most likely get demoted to nightdress mainly becuse I spilled printer ink all over myself whilst illegally refilling the cartridge and have been appropriately been punished by trying to remove yellow ink out of my skin and this dress for the last day and a bit...sigh.

Outfit: what I wore when I was hungover and forgot I had an 8:30 dentist appointment

Headscarf: Thrifted

Sweater: MySize Thrifted

Pants: Won them in a bar fight

Shoes: Converse

Scarf: a few yards of grey jersey knit knotted together.

Anyway I forgot this morning that I had a dentist appointment, and I was hungover from the traditional Australian activity of "after work drinks" and the other traditional Australian activity of "After, After work drinks" so I went stumbling out of the house his morning in my Haus frau garb.

I'm posting it, as I am joining everyone else blogging themselves without make-up and whilst I should say that 90% of pictures of me on this blog are without make-up as I literally take all my outfit photos at around 6:45 am before the sun is fully up, depending on my mood I apply the minimal make-up (habit formed as a make-up always clean and minimalfor the day) I wear in full light (another habit I have formed) in a little hidden area at my bus stop or at work in the ladies . I think hungover/ un made-up me is a good variant on the theme.

mmm sexy, dehydrated, still slightly drunk ol' me

Outfit: Black, like my cold dead heart

Jacket: beth Ditto for Evans

Shirt: traded some magic beans for it

Skirt: My Size

Opaques: I hvae no idea

Boots: Evans 

Scarf: Made it myself.

It's getting cold in Ye Olde Sydney Towne and the layers start a piling on, It becomes my least coourful period as most of my winter clothes are black (a result of my previous career as a make-up artist and their ability to be used as a tax deduction) Anyway yeah my colourful self will become a shivering monotone shell of a being by June and the colour in my ensembles will only be provided by spilled beverages, jokes about penises oh and accessories of course.

Speaking of which, I have been churning out cheap-and-slightly-nasty scarves from cotton, knit jersey just buy a few metres and sew or pin into a loop if you want a circle scarf or cut up into bits and knot if you want a necklush  

I might even churn out some instructions this weekend; it's scarily easy and minimal if any sewing is required and each scarf usually costs about $5- $10 to make.

It's late I go sleep now

Outfit: What I wore to Mothers day lunch (featuring trashy iphone in the bathroom picture)

Cardigan: Jane Davenport

Top: Vigilante Labs via Etsy

Skirt: Generic blacky/grey skirt

Shoes: Crocs...MUTHAFUKKA!

Necklace: Diva

Red Belt: came with a dress

Sunglassed tucked into top: Karen Walker.

(insert an interesting blurb about you outfit and why you chose to wear today's outfit here)

Outfit: what I wore to after work drinks

Dress: Kirrily Johnston for Maxshop

Belt: found it in a pile once

Leggings: Mesh insert Leggings 

 Shoes: I'm gonna say Evans

Why did I wear what I wore? Well I gots to be conservative at my job. Why? because my workplace is conservativeish and because if I had my tits out I'd get too many girls jealous at their sheer spectaculariness! and I'd get a formal warning by HR

.But after work was over I hitched the hemline up a a good foot and a half drank myself tipsy and went home inappropriately early.

Oh and why am I hold my spectacular breasts in this photo... well I got my flatmate/ boyfriend to take this here picture (there has to be a reason why I call him tripod ) and the only non blurred photo was the one where I'm holding my tits, it's like it subconsciously steadies him by focusing on them

outfit : featuring my new Evans Breton

Jacket: Beth Ditto for Evans

Breton/ top: Evans

Jeans: Evans

Shoes : converse

Sunglasses : "Wonderland" 2007ish Karen Walker

Gosh I'm head to fricking toe in Evans today, I made a couple of purchases last week with my Ebay winnings in their 20% off sale, most important one is this Breton top, every year I always look for the perfect striped top
and I have amassed quite a collection now the latest purchase is still on the website can't link I'm writing this on an iPhone anyway it's good solid quality top and while traditional navy and white ain't my bag overall this is I know going to be my go to neutral top when I want appear responsible.

The jacket I wear to death, I bought it the first day the fucker went on sale and it hangs on the hat rack in the living room as it's always being worn. have been searching high and low for a backup one but nobody wants to get rid of them... sigh.

The sunglasses gotten on eBay for a song and postage and handling and I love them to death.

that's it oh and a new background it's my front gate.

Outfit: what I wore to the Burlesque Ball thingy

Dress: Jane Bon Bon via Etsy  

Necklace: Diva

Earrings: Thrifted

Petticoat: Tulle and Elastic from Lincraft

My darling friend Boo bought me a ticket to a Burlesque Ball and the theme was balck and red and so I wore this, I could write some long winded wank about being inspired by some Vargas pin up or a Billy Wilder movie... but I wasn't, I was poor, needed to wear something red and burlesque leaning and I had to be comfortable. FIN

Outfit: of the Good Vibrations Music Festival

 

 Yesterday I went to the Sydney Good Vibrations Music festival with my bother and the boy to see Salt n Pepa, Gossip, Naughty By Nature and fuck load of other artists. It was great fun, even if it was bucketing all day and I couldn't fluff up the fro in the way I wanted to fluff it.

 

Top: Beth Ditto for Evans (actually found it in a Thrift Store here in Sydney)

Jacket: Thrifted

Shorts: pair of kmart jeans that I thrifted and cut up

Tights: Curvaceous

Boots: steel toe tradies

I don't particularly care for the top but I found it at an Op Shop for ten bucks and thought fuck it let's give it a whirl, they were selling the attached aqua singlet for $5 which I caved and bought too it was a size 32UK and I'm usually a 26UK in tops and dresses so I had to belt it otherwise I would feel awkward/swimming in fabric, and you have to excuse my breasts there is actually 3/4 of a bottle of vodkas stashed in one of these and I had deflated one of my boobs making screwdrivers at the bus stop

Yes I am that classy!

I wore it as to reference to Beth Ditto at the fetival but yeah, Gossip were clashing with Naughty by Nature on the schedule so she couldn't see me in the crowd and let me in backstage like she did with Stephanie .

Anyways every talks about Beth Ditto and what she is doing Fashion-wise for plus size girls well ahem I do love her and her style but if you have ever seen Basement Jaxx live you would have drowned in the hour and a bit of fat fashion fabulousness that is their live show .

 

Images from the Good Vibrations Festival Sydney 2010: Source Faster Louder

in fact just google them and enjoy them, they are one of my most favouritest bands ever, their songs are perfections and you will be happier guaranteed if you listen to their music.

Outfit: of the Big Day Out Music festival

 

headscarf: thrifted

t-shirt: kmart shredded by me 

bra: kmart 

vest: an old waterfall cardigan I hacked the sleeves off from kmart

sunglassed: karen walker

boyfriend: mine: in t-shirt :as you see it art 

no full shots, of my outfit for the Big Day Out they were just some throwaway crap jegging things, but the bra was bitchin' and in line with my everything in red polka dot dreams and I was super comfy for the whole day which is al that counts.

P.S. Shredding your own t-shirts whilst fundamentally easy   takes ages and is kinda fiddly, takes ages, and can really hurt yo hands and if you are working with  a white t-shirt remember to keep your hands clean.

 

Outfit: of the Field Day Music festival

T-shirt: Bonds

Skirt: Thrifted
Headscarf: Thrifted

Hosiery: Coles

Boots: Tradesmen boots that I dangled a cut up belt from Supre off

Handbag: Roxy

I found a photo of me on my brothers camera and a suitable card reader, it's what I wore to field day this year day has been detailed here I am very much of the belief that one should dress for comfort at a music festival and not for appearances, and boy was I comfortable, when orange skanks vomited onto the ground in front of me I was so comfortable I could just laugh heartily withoug worrying abut vomit seeping in between the straps of my cheap glatiator sandal (as I werent wearing any) and offer them a moist towellette to wipe themselves up and bulldoze my way up the front to enjoy the show.

AHAHAHAHA!

Anyways the motto to this entry is if you are going to any event that contains alcohol and more than a thousand people don't wear open toe shoes... trust me  oh and always carry wet wipes.

Headscarf: Tied 'Rhoda' Style : Thrifted

Necklace: Diva

Sweater: Ments Kmart black acrylic jumper with neckband removed and worn backwards

Jeans: 1626 thrifted.

The Boy really does not like these jeans and so everytime I put these babies on he visibly winces and questions my intentions of leaving the house. He'll um and ahh and question my choice of arse coverings. Usually in order to determine if an outfit is suitable I'll ask the question "am I rootable?" (it's an Australian thing Root = Sex... well the penetration bit, so Rootable means fuckable) any 99.9 percent of the time it's a yes, but these jeans... these jeans have magic contraceptive abilities that cause all desire in my boyfriend to shirivel up and die... oh well it means more time for me to eat chocoalte and buy stuff online.

I mean come on they aren't that bad are they? a little baggy by thats the style! I'm a hipster into the fashion and the young people stuff.

Where did my arse go?

Oh well whatever! I still like the jeans like this with a long jumper they are comfy so very comfy.

Yeah the Sweater thingy, it's literally a mens V neck jumper that I cut the neck out of hemmed the bastard and wear it backwards, I got he jumper off the sale rack at k-mart for about $7 and the con is it pills like buggery but any cold day it's my go to item and I do look cute in a boatneck

Dress: Jane BonBon via Etsy 

Shirt: Thrifted

Belt: Came with a dress

Thongs: Dunno?

This is how I usually wear this dress to work, because y'know a second hand button up shirt falling apart at the seams makes this shit corporate yo'

or my work has a casual rule on not wearing sleeveless tops.

Everyone should buy something custom made from Jane BonBon it's masterfully constructed and wonderful to wear, it's been my go to dress for the last few weeks, I just chuck it on to laze around the house and yeah I love it, and I'm so buying this baby when I get the cash