Outfit: What I wore when taking photos of our spare room to put up onto the internet in order to get a flatmate.

Trench: lily0808168 via Ebay heres a live auction for it

Top: Evans

Shorts: Jeans I cut up

Shoes: Invisble Wedges from Gullible City

Carpet: came with the house

This photo is completely random, I was taking photos of the corner (we are looking for a new housemate) and noticed something speck like while attending the the speck the camera takes five photos in quick succession (I think she is broken); and  even though Im not prepared, I hear the warning beeps and from dozens of Outfit self protraits I subconciously pose. 4 of the shots where khaki blur this however was freakishly useable. and It means that I don't have take time off my busy Saturday (watching movies and scratching myself) creating content for this here page. Yay half arse blog entry.

I did chuck on a pair of stockings and boots and wear this up to the shops to buy a clothes drying rack and that was another highlight of my day.

I do love the trench I wear it everywhere, and the short adjustable sleeves make it perfect for th Aussie winter, I think I'm going to buy another one as I am literally wearing it out and the khaki colour (the buttons eep on falling off) is actually a really versatile flattering neutral. also it has this fab tulip hem that is so adorable, I ordered a 5X even though I'm squarely in their 3X sizing (heard reviews off their off sizing and have been super happy with the fit, and the price just shits on every other Trench out there.

Movie Inspiration: The Lady Eve (Picture Heavy)

Reasons to watch this film

• Henry Fonda in a Tux in 1941 is like Lady Viagra
• Barbara Stanwyck is sex in a dress
• You should be watching Preston Sturges films to see how romantic comedy is done
• It has a elderly Gay couple (ok they never identify as Gay but they are so smokin it*) which for 1941 is great
• plenty of sexual innuendo ( before the late 40's - 60's de-sexing of cinema)
• The costumes are tres fab.
• You will have the smug sense of satisfaction of being able to tell people you have seen something other than the "Single Ladies" in black and white.

Was blind but now I see.

Glasses from Zenni Optical

Well I think I have firmly established that I am poor well y'know crack** and whores*** don't buy themselves.

Ok I'm not a Crack** addict but as a grown up that's moved out of home 90% percent of my money goes toward my survival and the remaining 10% usually goes on olives and cheese and that leaves me with 14% for things to make my life easier such as soap and those lighters with the long bit so you can light the stove without burning yourself.

 Anyways as I was saying I don't have much money to spend on life improving items but I needed one for a while and I have been putting it off or ages due to their sheer cost a pair of glasses. I lost my beloved Pepe Jeans pair (as seen here) in thick black acetate with Transitions lenses somewhere (probably when I was drunk or at work or when I was drunk at work) and I was so distraught (well distraught to the value of $500) I have since been using some old readers to tide me over but I needed something and I needed it quick, I was squinting to watch television, and I couldn't recognize my boyfriend at a certain distance and so whilst perusing the blog-o-sphere I read "The Bargain Fatshionista's" New glasses post and thought to myself  "hmmm $8 glasses ? let's have a look and see how bad the cost is for Shipping to Australia..."

$9.95USD

Yeah I was surprised too well now I had no reason not to try as a) Australian Optometrists are hellishly expensive (crack and whores don't come cheap) you can barely get a pair of decent glasses for $99AUD here in OZ let alone $8USD and b) I had accidentally bumped into say five too many people that I would of spotted (and subsequently avoided) had I been wearing glasses.

So it was decided and I put aside some of my Crack** money (I aint giving up on my Whores*** yet) and went a shopping and here is what I got. P.S I'm not wearing any make-up and my eyebrows need to be separated again so shield your eyes if necessary.

" Kiki the Poet" (can't find this style on the website but pretty safe and generic yo')

"Kiki the slightly less angry poet (probably cos she got laid last night high five)"  or this style from Zenni Optical

"Kiki the abrasive, Lefty, Media Commentator" or this Style

And "Kiki the hmm are you sure you want to wear those outside?" or these

The quality is above what I was expecting for the price (I was expecting a four drawings of glasses) The aren't Highlander like (that means they are immortal and Kick Arse!) but I'm happy to be seen in public in all of them. Ooh! and I ordered them on 16th May and they got to me on the 24th which I was super happy with, I will order more pairs and probably shell out for a few with a poly carbonate lens (to combat the Communist satellite Lasers) but yeah I entered in my prescription and voila! they all were perfect. and I can see again

Thanks to Zenni Optical I can avoid people I want to avoid with so much ease. My Optometrist too

** Crack is a term I commonly use to refer to Peanut Butter

*** Whores is my term for my weekly magazine purchases (Grazia and The New Yorker)

Good Styling v Bad Styling featuring JIBRI and City Chic (pic heavy)

 

JIBRI Plus Size Sleeveless Striped Pansy Dress

This is good no great styling, the photographer, stylist and make-up artist have worked together and created a gorgeous lookbook for JIBRI inspired by Joan Crawford (no coathangers though), Old Style Glamour with a Hitchcock moodiness whilst remaining feminine, desirable and romantic. 

However City Chic has come up with...

I don't know the items in the photo but the image was taken from here City Chic's lookbook

Now you are probably thinking that I'm just this whingey girl who has created some City Chic bashing blog because of some random childhood trauma... well I'm not. I just think the City Chic lookbook shots are unflattering, amateurish and remind me of awful glamour shots (on a sheepskin rug yuk) instead of a brand trying to be cutting edge in the youth plus size market.

  And I think that comparing look books with another plus size designer who as an independent designer manages to keep her items at a very similar price point to a major manufacturer who utilises overseas factories to make their garments is also a very interesting point to mention (cough* you are too frickin expensive for the quality of garment you produce)

anyway lets compare more pictures.

Outfit: Generic work outfit (now with added colour)

Dress: ASOS Curve

Cardigan: Basque Woman

Opaques:  it's a full leg tattoo I got done to look like opaques

Shoes: Thrifted mens suede laceups I have ruined by splashing about in puddles

Necklace: Diva

Head Scarf: Thrifted

• ASOS had free shipping to Austalia a couple of weeks ago
• after seeing this dress on Natalie of Definatalie.com I decided I must have it or some variant of said dress
• it took longer than their pomised 10 business days to deliver fo which they suck but the dress is good and my boobs like nice so I will fogive them
• however it is too short and creases like a (insert your own metaphor for a heavily creased item or person)
• if you look closely you can see my polka dotted bra

Oh and if you are one of the bazillion people who came here fom Definatalie's neck o' the woods  hello, I hope I havent offended with my weekly references to my "Coporate Box" "Minge" or "Lady Garden" and thankyou Natalie for incluing me amongst some amazing and inspiring gals, it's such an honour.

Dea Evans Stylist: WTF?

I'm not a matching prude, I don't believe in rules, in fact I'm all about the Clash, but seriously? you are meant to put items together that a) make the buyer relate to the model b) highlight the benefits and design features of the individual items and c) make the buyer want to buy them.

Maybe it's me in my old age but this makes me go eurrggh! But her hair is lovely, I wonder what conditioner she uses?

Outfit: a.k.a the elephant scrotums second chance round

Dress: Asos Curve

Longline Sweater Vest: The Clothing Company

Opaques: stole them from the neighbours clothes line

Boots: Evans

Belt: found on the floor

Headscarf: thrifted

I tried again, and I'm still meh bout the outfit but i covers my tits and minge adquately so as not to offend to townsfolk. It will most likely get demoted to nightdress mainly becuse I spilled printer ink all over myself whilst illegally refilling the cartridge and have been appropriately been punished by trying to remove yellow ink out of my skin and this dress for the last day and a bit...sigh.

People you should know about: Serge Lutens (picture heavy)

Outfit: what I wore when I was hungover and forgot I had an 8:30 dentist appointment

Headscarf: Thrifted

Sweater: MySize Thrifted

Pants: Won them in a bar fight

Shoes: Converse

Scarf: a few yards of grey jersey knit knotted together.

Anyway I forgot this morning that I had a dentist appointment, and I was hungover from the traditional Australian activity of "after work drinks" and the other traditional Australian activity of "After, After work drinks" so I went stumbling out of the house his morning in my Haus frau garb.

I'm posting it, as I am joining everyone else blogging themselves without make-up and whilst I should say that 90% of pictures of me on this blog are without make-up as I literally take all my outfit photos at around 6:45 am before the sun is fully up, depending on my mood I apply the minimal make-up (habit formed as a make-up always clean and minimalfor the day) I wear in full light (another habit I have formed) in a little hidden area at my bus stop or at work in the ladies . I think hungover/ un made-up me is a good variant on the theme.

mmm sexy, dehydrated, still slightly drunk ol' me

Outfit: Black, like my cold dead heart

Jacket: beth Ditto for Evans

Shirt: traded some magic beans for it

Skirt: My Size

Opaques: I hvae no idea

Boots: Evans 

Scarf: Made it myself.

It's getting cold in Ye Olde Sydney Towne and the layers start a piling on, It becomes my least coourful period as most of my winter clothes are black (a result of my previous career as a make-up artist and their ability to be used as a tax deduction) Anyway yeah my colourful self will become a shivering monotone shell of a being by June and the colour in my ensembles will only be provided by spilled beverages, jokes about penises oh and accessories of course.

Speaking of which, I have been churning out cheap-and-slightly-nasty scarves from cotton, knit jersey just buy a few metres and sew or pin into a loop if you want a circle scarf or cut up into bits and knot if you want a necklush  

I might even churn out some instructions this weekend; it's scarily easy and minimal if any sewing is required and each scarf usually costs about $5- $10 to make.

It's late I go sleep now

Outfit: What I wore to Mothers day lunch (featuring trashy iphone in the bathroom picture)

Cardigan: Jane Davenport

Top: Vigilante Labs via Etsy

Skirt: Generic blacky/grey skirt

Shoes: Crocs...MUTHAFUKKA!

Necklace: Diva

Red Belt: came with a dress

Sunglassed tucked into top: Karen Walker.

(insert an interesting blurb about you outfit and why you chose to wear today's outfit here)

Music Inspiration: 70 Million by Hold Your Horses.

70 Million by Hold Your Horses ! from L'Ogre on Vimeo.

 They have used dozens of famous artworks as inspiration, and the make-up the styling everything is just tres adorable. P.S. I love French Pop music so this will not be my last French pop band mention

Outfit: what I wore to after work drinks

Dress: Kirrily Johnston for Maxshop

Belt: found it in a pile once

Leggings: Mesh insert Leggings 

 Shoes: I'm gonna say Evans

Why did I wear what I wore? Well I gots to be conservative at my job. Why? because my workplace is conservativeish and because if I had my tits out I'd get too many girls jealous at their sheer spectaculariness! and I'd get a formal warning by HR

.But after work was over I hitched the hemline up a a good foot and a half drank myself tipsy and went home inappropriately early.

Oh and why am I hold my spectacular breasts in this photo... well I got my flatmate/ boyfriend to take this here picture (there has to be a reason why I call him tripod ) and the only non blurred photo was the one where I'm holding my tits, it's like it subconsciously steadies him by focusing on them