Outfit: Black, like my cold dead heart

Jacket: beth Ditto for Evans

Shirt: traded some magic beans for it

Skirt: My Size

Opaques: I hvae no idea

Boots: Evans 

Scarf: Made it myself.

It's getting cold in Ye Olde Sydney Towne and the layers start a piling on, It becomes my least coourful period as most of my winter clothes are black (a result of my previous career as a make-up artist and their ability to be used as a tax deduction) Anyway yeah my colourful self will become a shivering monotone shell of a being by June and the colour in my ensembles will only be provided by spilled beverages, jokes about penises oh and accessories of course.

Speaking of which, I have been churning out cheap-and-slightly-nasty scarves from cotton, knit jersey just buy a few metres and sew or pin into a loop if you want a circle scarf or cut up into bits and knot if you want a necklush  

I might even churn out some instructions this weekend; it's scarily easy and minimal if any sewing is required and each scarf usually costs about $5- $10 to make.

It's late I go sleep now

Outfit: What I wore to Mothers day lunch (featuring trashy iphone in the bathroom picture)

Cardigan: Jane Davenport

Top: Vigilante Labs via Etsy

Skirt: Generic blacky/grey skirt

Shoes: Crocs...MUTHAFUKKA!

Necklace: Diva

Red Belt: came with a dress

Sunglassed tucked into top: Karen Walker.

(insert an interesting blurb about you outfit and why you chose to wear today's outfit here)

Music Inspiration: 70 Million by Hold Your Horses.

70 Million by Hold Your Horses ! from L'Ogre on Vimeo.

 They have used dozens of famous artworks as inspiration, and the make-up the styling everything is just tres adorable. P.S. I love French Pop music so this will not be my last French pop band mention

Outfit: what I wore to after work drinks

Dress: Kirrily Johnston for Maxshop

Belt: found it in a pile once

Leggings: Mesh insert Leggings 

 Shoes: I'm gonna say Evans

Why did I wear what I wore? Well I gots to be conservative at my job. Why? because my workplace is conservativeish and because if I had my tits out I'd get too many girls jealous at their sheer spectaculariness! and I'd get a formal warning by HR

.But after work was over I hitched the hemline up a a good foot and a half drank myself tipsy and went home inappropriately early.

Oh and why am I hold my spectacular breasts in this photo... well I got my flatmate/ boyfriend to take this here picture (there has to be a reason why I call him tripod ) and the only non blurred photo was the one where I'm holding my tits, it's like it subconsciously steadies him by focusing on them

Movie Inspiration: Hairspray (the original and best in my Opinion)

City Chic: April 2010 the Good, the Bad and the Ugly

The Good.

Mini Feather Fringe Skirt, Chiffon Frill Button Through Top and Peplum Long Sleeved Cardigan with Shoulder Pads 

All from City Chic

Ahh lovely, the skirt whilst possibly Minge visible is unique and cute, the top whilst it reeks of the fat-famous lily0808168 ruffle dress it is cute and sensible and it straddles several trends; The cardigan is my most lustworthy item I like the cut and how Fashion Hayley has been rocking it.

 The Bad. 

 Wide Leg Jean, Zip Me Skinny Jean,Corset Bootleg Jeans and Acid Wash Skinny Jeans

all from City Chic

Apparently City Chic customers in particular the ones who purchase denim have genetically stopped growing at a size 20-22, which led to so much of a financial ruin for City Chic in creating a size 24 for the abnormally sized City Chic customer it had to be removed.

Whilst it shouldn't effect me as I don't often buy denim from City Chic But it sucks because 

1. They offer pants up to a size 24 but not denim on their website Seriously WTF?
2. They are obviously trying to be competitive with the other Youth Orientated Plus Size branding like Evans and Torrid (blogger partners, fashion parades, online promotions have you Booked Crystal Renn yet?) and yes whilst understandably behind the Big Guys with a typically more expensive product, Australian Isolation, and a limited size range, Is reducing your highest size online in denim really going to help?
3. I feel sorry for fat anomalies who will not be able to purchase your jeans any more, the size 18 girls with the 24 arse and thighs who would adjust them with some crafty know how ( I myself have to buy 24-26-28 jeans and pin in the waist to accommodate my calves) and even your size 24 customers who had become quite accustomed to purchasing your jeans every few months as they wore out from being worn to death 
4. Every other "relevant" plus sized brand in Australia goes up to a 24 or has extended it's range to a 24

eh now I'm nit-picking but City Chic has the power to be a MAJOR brand in Australia and the world and in order to do that it has to step up it's game.

& The Ugly 

Faux Fur Vest Available at City Chic

GAH! stylist must be shot immediately, then the photographer who took the photo needs to be hog-tied then the web developer who put this online to make my eyes bleed needs to be locked in a basement; and I cannot even write what I would do to the designer who dreamt up this abomination! 

I have blocked the poor models eyes out to protect her dignity but I have included a link if you unlike me wish to purchase this item. Poor girl she's soo cute too and Aussie non white plus size models are few and far between, City Chic you better not have fucked up her career.

Music Inspiration: Try not to Dance, I dare ya!

 

If you want to be happy: Jimmy Soul

P.S if you are one of those people that takes everything literally for example song lyrics a) it sucks to be you and b) probably best not to listen to the song

Shit I Want: Australian Plus size: Dream Diva

Red One Shoulder dress with Bow, Strapless Printed Dress with Belt and Flower Applique detail Party Dress
all from Dream Diva

I've been jonesing for a party dress to faff about town in and to absorb all the cider that I spill onto myself when I faff about town. And so far only Dream Diva has been hitting the mark of suitably tasteful-yet-fun-flirty-without-showing-my-minge-style dresses that I have been in search for since forever.

Oh and If I'm going to buy me a dress I should get some thing to cover my arse


Sequinned Mesh Skirt, Black Straight Leg, Zipper Detailed Pants and Black Waist Tie Skirt
all still from Dream Diva

Oh and and it's not a plus-size shopping spree without showing you the traditional Plus Size Fug



Deep V Foil Print Top, Centre Panel Halter Top
and Cross over Halter Top all Dream Diva

Not my bag, but there has to be a fat someone, somewhere that likes stupidly cut tops that cannot be worn with a bra or foil prints.

Autograph: you have improved this winter... shame about the prices.

Left to Right: Red Military Jacket, Grey Short Cargo pocket Anorak and Navy Ponte Boyfriend Jacket

All from Autograph Clothing.

I actually really want all three jackets, they all look pretty frickin' fabulous, but unless my boyfriend starts dealing cocaine and wants to shower me in mid range disposable plus-sized fashion, these jackets will just be a pipe dream.. need to work on better dreams

Outfit: I don't like it (a.k.a curse of the Elephant Scrotum dress)

Dress: oversized knit dress ASOS curve

cardigan: SARA

Stirrup Leggings: My Size

Boots: Evans

Scarf: Thrifted

satchel: crumpler laptop bag

The grey ASOS curve dress is shitting me royally, I bought it in the hope it would be a relaxed Australiab Autumn/ Winter suitable piece that would be super versatile and be business appropriate without sacrificing my true clusterfuckery style.

It has ended up being a giant weird grey t-shirt with the worlds most useless pockets that is too long for pants too short for a dress, looks shit when belted and looks shit when it's not. And the fabric density is comprable to 2 ply toilet paper.

But even though it looked shit I thought it might of been a trick of mirrors, a trick of lighting or a trick of digital photography so I wore it to work today, and well I'm writing this on my iPhone simply because I cannot hold back how dissapointed I am in this dress I look like an elephant scrotum (or what I imagine an elephant scrotum to look like)

I have no idea what to do with it I think it's going to get demoted to nightgown, it's not too small there is an acre of fabric hanging off the fucker when it's belted nor is too big ( I think) anyway I now know why they have been marked down in the clearance section of the ASOS website... le sigh

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